A Milllion Miles December 19, 2009

Wow, long time no write!

I was just thinking today on my way home from a trip to the mall, that I really need to get back here a little more often… or at all for that matter.

When I finally arrived home, I checked my email, and lo and behold, a new comment was waiting for me; I think that was a sign.  So now it is 2:07 a.m. and here I am typing away to bring you up to speed.

Have you ever done anything crazy with a pinch of impulsive mixed in?

I sure have.  Sometime over the summer, probably in early to mid-August, we (hubby and I) made a kind of spur of the moment decision. That was, Plan B for the completion of my BSN was developed and put into action.  Here I am now, half way across the world, a foreign student in a new school, away from my hubby, extended family, and friends, welcoming new experiences.

Here I am in the Philippines, making my goal become a reality.  Hopefully in two years (the length of time is still debatable) I will return to the States ready for another new chapter to start.  But for now, I am here learning lots of new things, seeing lots of new things, doing lots of new things, eating lots of new things, and loving lots of new things.  The decision to come here was difficult to make on some levels, but on others, it couldn’t have been any easier.  I’ve been here now for just over two months, and so far it’s been pretty great.

I’ve been trying to keep a handwritten journal of sorts, a record of my adventures, but even with the pen I have been slacking.  Just before I signed in tonight, I thought maybe I should try to start the new year off with a resolution of sorts, to post once a day… but I figured I should be more realistic and aim for at least once a week, both here in the cyberworld, and with paper and ink.  I would really love to look back and have a regular record of our experience, especially for The Manchild and the babies.  I have also been encouraging the Manchild to keep his own journal, because I think it will be amazing to look back in years to come and see the different perspectives we had throughout this time.

So here I leave you for the evening (or wee hours of the morning), before I fall asleep, hoping to be back sooner and more regularly with some adventures to share!

The Cesarean Complex September 4, 2009

There is a lot out here on the interent about birthing; especially natural birth and the birthing experience.   Having wanted a natural birth experience for all three of my littles, I was quite disappointed to have each of them end in cesarean sections.  For a long time I felt that I was missing the experience of natural birth, that I had been robbed.  Over the last year or so, I have come to a peaceful place with the experience that I did have, the experience is mine.  A lot of that is from being able to read the experiences of others and how they got through them.  Some insight that helped me greatly was from Morgan over at Adventures in Diapering.  I have come to realize that it is OK for me to miss that experience, as long as I can still look at the big picture and remember that the pregnancy and birth are probably about 1% of the entire parenting experience, and the parenting experience is what really matters. 

 

Another thing that I have come to realize is that there are some women (men too…) who really put a value on the natural birth experience, and in talking about that value as a whole (medically and emotionally speaking), focus on the areas in which our current maternal care system is lacking.  There is not a lot of discussion of situations where cesarean sections were a legitimate medical necessity.   I believe that for most women who have experienced something different than they were hoping for, this does nothing but perpetuate feelings of loss, sadness, and possibly inadequacy.

 

While this is something that has been of interest to me for over a decade, it has been more of recent that I have been doing more reading and research on the issue.  I am fully aware of the sad state of our maternal care in the U.S., both from my readings, and from personal experience.  I know that there are many (too many)  situations where a  woman who intends on having a natural birth experience ends up with an epidural, and eventually lands on the OR table while her child is born through a surgical incision for reasons that could have been avoided.  I know that there are OBs who want to practice 9-5 medicine and will induce labor or schedule ‘elective’ cesareans so they can be home in time for dinner.  I also know that many women head into the hospital thinking that they are going to have the birth experience that they dreamed of, not ever having had a direct conversation with their doctor about his or her practices, or doing any of their own research outside of taking the child birth classes taught at the hospital.  The problem is not only the fault and/or the responsibility of medical providers, but also that of women.

 

I believe that there is more than one issue at hand here.  The fist is making a change in the system so that pregnancy and birth are treated as a natural process and not a disease that needs to be cured.  The second is that we need to develop a true understanding of what (some) women who have had cesarean sections go through in the recovery process emotionally, and provide better support for them.

 

There are amazing nurses, midwives, and doctors out there that realize we have come to a place where change needs to happen.  Many are trying to make that change even if it is only in the smallest things that they can do as individuals (maybe a nurse standing strong in supporting a women’s wishes when she is being bullied by a doctor).  Some know we need a change but have no idea where to start, and there are others, unfortunately, that don’t realize anything is wrong.

 

I believe that as a woman, I have a responsibility to myself and other women, to be an educated consumer’ of all things.  Number one on the list of all things is health care.  Change doesn’t come easily or quickly, but with time, persistance, and hard work, we can make it happen.  It is my responsibility to be open and upfront with my doctor regarding my expectations.  It is also my responsibility stand up for myself if I believe that I am not getting what I deserve.  Remember that even in the doctor’s office, you are paying for a service, and you deserve to be treated fairly and with respect.  You can question things without being rude or pushy, and it is OK to say no, or I want a second opinion.  It is your body, and what happens to it is your choice.  Don’t let that choice be taken away from you.

 

 

The Doula April 3, 2009

The first time I had ever heard of a doula, I was at a Pampered Chef party with a bunch of ladies I didn’t know.  I met a woman who was going through the nursing program at a local community college, and we were sharing experiences as working moms who are going to school to become nurses.  I have always had a keen intereste in women’s health, and as soon as I realized that nursing was what I wanted to do, I knew I wanted to work in L&D.  The only problem is that the husband thinks that I am crazy.  I finally convinced him the other day that all those Discovery Health shows I am so crazy about are in fact contributing to my education, and he may now finally give up the fight of trying to convince me that I have no need to watch real people on TV.

 

Anyway, I digress… back to the subject.  So there I was sitting around someone else’s kitchen table listening to them talking about labor and doulas and femal body parts… “What’s a doula?” I asked, kind of embarrassed, since they all seemed to know and I didn’t.  That was the beginning.

 

That was probably 4 or 5 years ago when I was a freshman in the nursing program.  I knew I wanted to do L&D, and I also knew that I didn’t want to stop there, I wanted to become a midwife. 

 

Since then I have had 2 more babies, neither of which were the birthing experience I had hoped for after my son was born by emergency cesarean almost 12 years ago (another story for antoher post).  Since then I have become more and more focused on becoming a midwife; what is the quickest way for me to finish my schooling, how do I find and choose a training program? 

 

Yesterday I was looking for something to do, and somehow I started searching for information on doulas and midwives and programs that are available.  I came up with a plan (somewhat anyway) of what I want to do and how I want to go about getting there.  I am feeling very positive about my ideas and goals, and the husband responded with “I love it!!” when I sent him a quick what do you think email yesterday. 

 

I am in a good place and I am on my way to better.